Joey Essex: Grief & Me
A review of the BBC TV Documentary which you can view here
I find it fascinating that we only see the side of celebrities that they choose to share with us. Despite being an ambassador for Child Bereavement UK since 2014, Joey Essex is better known as a TV personality in various reality shows including The Only Way Is Essex (TOWIE), Splash, I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here, The Jump, the reality dating series Celebs Go Dating, Michael McIntyre’s Big Show and SAS: Who Dares Wins. What he has not talked about previously is his grief from the death of his mother Tina, who took her own life when he was only ten years old in 2001. On 3 June 2021 Joey Essex revealed the 20 years of heartache and trust issues that were previously hidden behind the happy-go-lucky persona who was brought up by his father.
In the documentary, available on BBC iPlayer, Joey speaks to psychologist Stephen Blumenthal about how not processing the trauma of losing his mother had affected his relationships, stopped him from accessing positive memories and had pushed those closest to him away. He bravely talked about the real emotions and feelings of vulnerability behind the life the world had seen in the TV shows he is famous for and the healing power of finally sharing the true story of his bereavement and grief.
Joey opened the previously closed doors to show us the heartache he has lived with since his mother’s death. The programme described the rollercoaster and the struggles Joey had with seeking help from a therapist and talking about his true feelings. In particular the documentary shows how not processing trauma as a child can stop a person from having positive memories of a loved one and can adversely affect relationships in later life.
By opening up the painful buried memories, the therapeutic conversation and other chats with his family helped Joey to process what had happened and showed the sensitive and vulnerable side of this young celebrity. Joey’s experience will be relatable to many and hopefully will encourage others to get help instead of hiding away from tricky conversations and painful feelings. It is understandable that grief will always be present when you have lost a loved one, but hearing Joey getting issues off his chest showed the relief that can come from seeking help.
Thank you to Joey Essex for not walking away and for putting a spotlight on complex grief. If you are upset by grief or this programme, there are organisations who can help that are set out in my Resources section on my website.
I agree with Joey… feeling lonely is normal, but you are not alone… cry if you want to cry, it’s ok.