4 Things Nobody Tells You About Making a Will
As a former Wills and Probate solicitor and sadly a widow, I have both experienced the impact of end-of-life planning firsthand, and I have guided hundreds of individuals through the process of creating their Wills. While many people understand the basic concept that your Will is the only document dictating who inherits your assets on your death, there are deeper, often overlooked, aspects that deserve attention.
As a grief and life coach who supports people navigating their emotions after loss and whilst sorting out the paperwork, I want to share four insights that people don’t necessarily tell you about Will preparation:
It's More Than Just Assets - It's About Clarity in Crisis
Will conversations often centre around who gets what. But, having worked with bereaved families and experienced loss personally, a Will's true value lies in the clarity it provides during life's most challenging moments. A well drafted Will can give loved ones clarity when they need it most.
In the fog of grief, when emotions are raw and decision-making is difficult, a well-prepared Will serves as a compass. It's not just a legal document - it's a final act of love that guides those left behind through the practical aspects of loss, allowing them to focus on processing their grief rather than wrestling with uncertainty and potentially conflict about who gets what.
Talking Helps!
One of the most frequent pieces of feedback I receive from participants of my annual Will Challenge is how the process opened up meaningful family discussions they'd been avoiding. These conversations can feel uncomfortable initially, I understand that completely, but even reluctant ones are part of the process and can evolve into powerful moments of connection and understanding.
These conversations aren't just about who inherits what… they are opportunities for you to share your values, explain your choices, and prevent potential misunderstandings. Done compassionately and in the right way, these discussions can be opportunities for families to grow closer and for individuals to find comfort and peace of mind from knowing that they understand each other's wishes and values.
It’s important not to avoid the painful feelings
As humans we are pre-programmed to be motivated by pleasure and to avoid pain, but unfortunately, the only way through uncomfortable emotions is to feel the feelings. As the psychotherapist Julia Samuel MBE says, it’s not the pain that does the damage, it’s what we do to avoid the pain. And, if we’re able to feel these feelings and work through them, preparing your Will can be a profound and valuable emotional experience. I’ve seen in my grief coaching that there is a unique power in combining practical planning with emotional legacy which can assist those left behind with their continuing bonds with us once we are gone.
When you allow yourself to feel the emotions that come with end-of-life planning, it is likely that you will gain clarity about what truly matters to you. This emotional awareness can guide you in making more meaningful decisions about your legacy… not just in terms of what happens to your assets, but in terms of the memories, values, and messages you want to leave behind.
The Time is Now
Perhaps the most crucial truth about Will preparation is that whilst it's never too early to create your Will, it can tragically be too late. As someone who has witnessed both families grateful for detailed preparation and those left struggling without any guidance… I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a professionally prepared Will that represents your current wishes.
Your Will is a gift to your loved ones, and it's one that shouldn't be postponed. Life is tragically unpredictable, and the best time to prepare this vital document is now, while you have the clarity of mind and time to consider your decisions carefully.
Taking Action
If you've been putting off creating your Will, please know that you're not alone. The majority of people share the same hesitation before they took action. That's why I created the Will Challenge… it is a structured, supportive environment where I bust some myths, share mistakes and along the way give you a few simple tasks that magically mean that by the end of the week you have worked through this important task of working out what goes into your Will, with guidance and community support.
The next Will Challenge is scheduled for the week commencing 28th April 2025. If you know that this is something that needs to be ticked off the To-Do List, join the waiting list here and give yourself and your loved ones the gift of clarity and peace of mind.
Please note that I am no longer a practicing solicitor, so I don’t prepare Wills or give legal advice, instead I coach you so that you transform from having your Head in the Sand about your Will to knowing everything you need to provide a lawyer with in order to get your Will done. And, I signpost you to know who to go to in order to get this done by an expert.
Want to Learn More?
For additional insights, check out my related articles:
Remember, creating your Will is not just about planning for the end… it is about making life easier for those you love most. As someone who has experienced both sides of this, I can assure you that taking this step is one of the most meaningful ways to care for your family's future.
Please note: This blog post is for general information only and does not constitute legal advice. Please consult with a qualified legal professional for specific guidance regarding your Will.