Why strength at the weakest point is so courageous

Out running recently, I was worrying about my daughter and how I could explain to her that finding strength and doing things that others find easy but she was finding almost impossibly hard is so courageous. I desperately wanted her to understand how proud I am of her for all the effort she is making to overcome the trauma she is re-living from the death of her devoted daddy when she was just six years old.

Suddenly the image of a regain came to me… for those not familiar with the Royal Marine All Arms Commando Course, the aim of the regain test is to traverse a rope strung between two towers over a tank filled with water using only skill and strength. During the traverse the individuals have to stop and hang by their hands from the rope. Candidates then have to "regain" their body and the additional weight of their boots, clothes, webbing and weapon back so that they can once again traverse along the top of the rope to safety.

So why is this relevant to my eleven-year-old daughter? What came to me as I was running, is that school for her is like traversing the rope… not necessarily an easy thing to accomplish but some children find it harder and some find it easier than others. What I realised was that when a child’s mental health leaves them hanging from the rope, they are likely to feel that they are bearing the weight of all the emotions that come with feeling that school is a difficult place to be.

What I hoped I could show her by explaining the regain, is that it is just at the point that we are struggling to hold on that we need to find courage, skill and strength to get back on track. My message in sharing this is that once we have managed our regain, instead of focusing on the fact that we have almost fallen off the rope, instead we need to focus on the huge amount of bravery and strength that we needed to get back on track.

The message that I wanted my daughter to hear is that struggling to get back onto the rope is a bold and courageous place to be and I am so proud of her for reaching out for help and for not giving up. If you are struggling, please focus on the small wins and please be brave and ask for help. There is a Resources section on my website full of useful contacts, many of which I have used over the years.

NB: For information on mental health within the Royal Marines please link into Project Regain, a concept set up by Captain Ryan Morris to improve mental health awareness and reduce stigma within the Royal Marines: https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/news-and-latest-activity/features/project-regain & https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNIRjh1bGGE